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A Sign of Co-Dependence: Compulsive Giving. Anxious people tend to be co-dependent, often possessing a great capacity for empathy, a strong sense of responsibility, and a longing to channel their…
The Sensitive Person’s Level of Suffering and Need to Present Well Individuals suffering from anxiety are often highly sensitive people whose acute awareness has become an affliction rather than a…
What just happened? (Just quickly relay the facts). Was I already in a difficult space before this even happened? How come? (What was the context?) What went through my mind…
Cognitive defusion is the technique of becoming untangled from our thoughts. While cognitive fusion is the process of believing that our thoughts are literally “true,” cognitive defusion is the ability…
Catastrophizing: You tell yourself that the very worst is happening or is going to happen. Overestimating Probabilities/ Underestimating Coping Response: You overestimate difficulty or danger while underestimating your ability to…
This process is recommended to help you restructure your thoughts and gain some healthy perspectives when you are feeling anxious. It is best to do this in the moment when…
Coping statements are qualitatively different than affirmations, because they emphasize resilience, not perfection. I don’t believe in affirmations, but I do believe in coping statements. Affirmations are a form of…
When I first came to therapy as a client at the age of twenty-one, I worried at the end of my initial session that my suffering would burden my therapist…
If you suffer from hypervigilance, you may be engaging in an exhausting, never-ending strategy of scanning your environment for evidence of danger. Hypervigilance is not a disorder in and of…
Using Honesty to Heal Your Social Anxiety. Social phobia, essentially defined as a debilitating fear of negative scrutiny, can be one of the most devastating anxiety disorders. We are social…
Using Skepticism to Heal Your Social Anxiety. Incorrect Reasoning. While the socially anxious can be their own worst critic, in the sense of being extremely hard on themselves – they…
Using Creative Hopelessness to Heal Your Social Anxiety. “I’m Too Nice!” and Anxious Chickens. I once saw a beautiful 12-year-old that came to her first session sitting very still next…
Using Kindness to Heal Your Social Anxiety. The Double-Bind Challenge. Having completed the first three parts of this series, you are in an optimal mindset for change. In Part One,…
The negative review is the act of rehashing and embellishing conversations in our minds after an interaction has already occurred, while at the same time focusing on our perceived shortcomings.…
Many psychological approaches based in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and other mindfulness-based therapies propose willingness as an effective technique for coping with a variety of symptoms. I agree…
“You are not your mind,” I tell my clients. “You aren’t.” This statement is usually followed by a mixed look of skepticism and pity: “She’s a psychologist, and she doesn’t…
Don’t let what happen to me? Did I read this right? Now that my title has grabbed your attention, I hope you will allow me to explain: By “you” I…
Authorship Confusion.Daniel M. Wegner uses the phrase “authorship confusion” to describe how people mistakenly assume responsibility for causing an event, simply because the thought preceded the occurrence. Believed-In Imaginings.Theodore Sarbin…
I Believe Something Terrible. Many people are invested in “proving” the existence of something they are terribly worried about. Even though this would be the worst news imaginable – that…
Dear Supportive Person, The following are some suggestions that may benefit both you and the anxious person during difficult times. Check in with your own feelings first, and notice your…
We admitted we were powerless over our thoughts, and that our minds had become unmanageable. Came to believe that a power greater than our minds could restore us to sanity.…
What is Thoughts Anonymous? “Thoughts Anonymous” is a philosophical movement that is both psychological and spiritual, emerging from the simultaneous principles of evidence-based Psychology and 12 Step Recovery Programs.1 Like…
Insomnia and other chronic sleep disorders affect more than 40 million people in this country, and studies have shown that anxiety and stress play a significant part in this problematic…
TREATING PANIC DISORDER:  A COUNTER-INTUITIVE APPROACH. If you suffer from “anxiety sensitivity,” you may be interpreting certain arousal states in your body to be threatening when in fact they are…
BE PRACTICALDo you have directions? Contact numbers? A plan or goal? Money? The right clothes? Phone charged? Snacks/water? Enough time to get some place? And, do you need to be…
Cognitive-behavioral therapists typically present a list of “cognitive distortions” that describe the common errors we make at the level of our thoughts. (You are likely to find a list of…
As a follow-up to my article, “Searching for Bad News” – a piece I wrote about individuals who desperately try to prove something dreadful – I wanted to respond to…
Clients tell me that they have absolutely no idea how to have self-compassion, and while they easily demonstrate compassion for others, they just don’t know how to be compassionate with…
Come over to the right side – your path to recovery. Don’t trade short-term relief for a long-term anxiety disorder. Instead, say “yes” to more things and remain in more…