Qualities of a “Normal” Memory:
1. A Limited Quality.
A memory that is essentially “finished” as soon as it shows up. The memory does not contain a question—a “What if” at the beginning, or “I might not remember” at the end. It’s more of a statement – a closed loop. “Oh, I just remembered_____” is a finished thought.
2. A Directional Quality.
Remembering comes from the “outside” —meaning, the recollection was previously unknown to you. It enters “from without” rather than “from within.” A realization arrives, often stemming from a different source. Understanding comes toward you. You might have been doing or thinking about something else. It doesn’t begin with worry or an internal search.
3. A Temporal Quality.
The moment before this memory wasn’t about this memory. It may even feel like a surprise. There’s a quality of “updating” with more current information—much like a new learning, a new discovery, or a new insight. It offers a way to carry you forward in a productive way. It doesn’t involve scanning or reviewing the past.
4. An “Unpressured” Quality.
There isn’t an urge to prove or disprove anything. Your body feels suddenly aware, not suddenly panicked. If you’re starting to go back and forth, debating and looking for evidence, it’s not a memory you can trust. Likewise, if you feel an intense urgency or pressure, and notice your body speeding up, it’s likely OCD.
5. A “Clean” Quality.
The memory feels fresh and informative, not shaming or demoralizing. It announces itself without too much emotional charge. It isn’t thorny, complicated, surreal, or ominous. Rather, the memory feels straightforward and useful. You feel grateful for remembering—it’s not oppressive.
A helpful exercise:
Do some comparisons of your own, noting the differences between “normal” remembering versus OCD. Pay particular attention to how your body feels with each one. Write down some recent memories, and notice which category they fall into. Now that you have these criteria, is it easier to tell the difference?
